Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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