We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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