doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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