i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
