Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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