Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
