if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
