her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
