How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
