i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
