garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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