Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
