so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dick very happy bro
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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