Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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