i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh god it's open bar.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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