so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
