Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize