What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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