i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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