Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
