I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
