Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
