Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
