I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize