So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
