I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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