I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
