Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
