i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
