sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
