you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
