Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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