I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize