They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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