Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
