whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
