she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
