Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
