Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
