so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my sisters under your porch take her home
false alarm. still invincible.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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