The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
