i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
