I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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