I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
