Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
