I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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