Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
