im drinking this country out of the recession.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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