I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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