We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
