If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize