so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
