mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can text with my tongue
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
