I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize