in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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