remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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