Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
