I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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