on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
