I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
