Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
