i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
