her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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